Life After Death
by emmalamia
Summary: AU. After James and Lily are murdered, Remus and Sirius are left to pick up the pieces, which includes raising Harry. In which Harry makes (not-so) unexpected friends and Remus and Sirius realise how strange their lives really are. Established RL/SB. On hiatus for now.
1. New Pack

**A/N: This is an AU. **

**I might post a prologue for this fic later on if you're confused at how Sirius didn't get sent to Azkaban.**

**The title of this fic is from a Ted Hughes poem of the same name. An excerpt has been included below.**

**Chapter One: New Pack**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

**Warnings: Nothing for this chapter. **

**Shippings: For now, you just need to be aware of established RL/SB. Later on, there may be other ships. **

***…***…***

_The wolves lifted us in their long voices._

_They wound us and enmeshed us_

_In their waiting for you, their mourning for us,_

_They wove us into their voices. We lay in your death,_

_In the fallen snow, under fallen snow._

_As my body sank into the folk-tale_

_Where the wolves are singing in the forest_

_For two babes, who have turned, in their sleep,_

_Into orphans_

_Beside the corpse of their mother._

Life after Death, by Ted Hughes.

***…***…***

"Mr Lupin?"

Remus turned around and came face to face with one of the older teachers, a Ms Smith. He smiled wearily and gritted his teeth.

"The headmaster would like a word with you."

The problem with working in a muggle school, he thought, was that he never quite knew what to expect. Remus wished that he had taken Muggle Studies at Hogwarts but he realised that even if he had, he would probably still be confused. Muggles were far stranger than the wizards and witches he had known in his lifetime.

"Yes, of course. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Remus knew what this was about. He'd been missing too many lessons. Not only was it one or two days a month for the full moon, but since the death of Lily and James Potter, he'd missed a few weeks. He had to help Harry settle in, of course. However, he remembered the disapproving look the Headmaster had given him when he'd suddenly stopped showing up to work for three weeks and realised that skipping work without any explanation was probably a bad idea.

He supposed it was also because stuck out like a sore thumb, even when he acted like a proper muggle. The truth was that he couldn't work in the wizarding world because no one would hire a werewolf. He was deemed too dangerous to work with other witches and wizards but at the same time, he was pretty odd by muggle standards too…

"Oh, and Mr Lupin?" Ms Smith smiled.

"Please, call me Remus," Remus muttered, packing away the last of his paper in his briefcase. Writing with paper was somewhat strange, after years of writing with parchment and quill.

Ms Smith grimaced. "Be ready for hell," she whispered, before shooting him an apologetic look.

When she left the room, Remus allowed his weary smile to fall away.

He couldn't afford to be fired. Not now that they had three mouths to feed.

***…***…***

Remus knocked on the Headmaster's door and waited. He wondered bitterly what his father would have thought of him working in a muggle school. His mother wouldn't have minded so much but his father would have been thoroughly disappointed.

His father, John, had always wanted Remus to become some successful wizard, but then Remus was bitten by Fenrir Greyback. After that, his father was always disappointed, no matter what. His mother died when he was fourteen and his father had died when he was seventeen. The only family Remus had left was Sirius Black and Harry Potter; everyone else was either dead or... well, just plain evil.

"Remus, come in," the Headmaster's voice sounded from behind the thin wooden door.

Remus opened the door and stepped inside the Headmaster's office. It made him feel like a teenager in trouble again, like back when Sirius and James used to coerce him into breaking school rules. Back then, the feeling was exhilarating. These days, it was awful.

"Sit down, please," the Headmaster, Mr Wright, began, "no need for anxiety, Remus."

So Remus sat down in the chair opposite Mr Wright and waited for the letdown.

"You're a great teacher, very good at what you do," Mr Wright began, "however-"

"Am I fired?" Remus asked miserably.

"Well, yes. I'm sorry, Remus. I can't keep you here much longer."

"Please, Mr Wright, I need this job-"

"I'm sorry, Remus, but you can't just disappear for three weeks and expect me to ignore it!" Mr Wright exclaimed. "Times are tough. I can't pay someone who isn't committed. I'm sorry, Remus, I am. I've given you warnings before. There are other, more qualified teachers who would die for your job."

Remus sighed and shook his head. "I have nowhere else to go. I have a family to support and I can't afford to lose this job…"

"Well, there's nothing I can do about that, son. Perhaps you should have thought about that before you took-"

With a shake of his head Remus stood up, took his briefcase and left the room. He closed the door on his way out, ignoring Mr Wright's insistent apologies which followed him all the way out. Ms Smith was outside when he emerged.

"How did it go?" She asked anxiously.

Remus pursed his lips. "Fired."

Ms Smith gasped and, for the first time since he came to the school, Remus really appreciated her company.

"Oh no, Remus dear, that's terrible!" Ms Smith wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He couldn't hug her back because he was clutching his briefcase so he stood there awkwardly for a few moments until she pulled away.

"What will you do?" She asked.

Remus shrugged. "I really don't know."

Which was the truth. What _would_ he do?

***…***…***

Sirius was cradling Harry in his arms when Remus came home.

The boy was crying and Sirius, looking miserable and tired, was whispering comforting words to Harry, trying to make him calm down.

Remus bit his lower lip. "You want a break, Padfoot?"

Sirius glanced up and widened his eyes. "Oh Merlin, Remus, I didn't hear you come in."

"It's alright, Sirius, let me look after Harry for a while. You go take a nap."

Sirius looked ridiculously relieved when he handed Harry to Remus. He gave Remus a peck on the cheek (Remus pulled a face at the gesture but remained silent) and then he turned around and disappeared down a corridor.

It still felt wrong living in the house down the road from James and Lily's. Harry was whining softly now. Remus patted him on the back. He'd been restless ever since that day, the lightning bolt scar on his head standing out starkly against his pale skin and bright green eyes. Lily's eyes.

Remus sat down in the worn armchair given to them by Dumbledore after they moved in. Harry loved this armchair. Remus hoped it would settle the boy down.

"Come on, Harry, it's alright," Remus cooed, "you're alright."

Harry's crying gradually become softer until it stopped altogether. Remus rocked Harry back and forth a few times and the boy finally fell asleep. Remus sighed, holding Harry close to his chest. How was he going to get a job? Who would hire him now?

Remus stood up carefully and carried Harry to his bed. He tucked Harry in and whispered "goodnight".

By the time Remus got back to his shared bedroom with Sirius, he was unbelievably tired and stressed beyond belief.

"Busy day?" Sirius murmured when he collapsed in bed.

"Yes," Remus groaned, "it was awful."

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. "I got fired."

"Oh."

Remus sighed. It was rather uncomfortable, lying down in his button up shirt and trousers, but he really didn't care. He just wanted the day to end.

"Hey, Moony, don't worry," Sirius leant his head on Remus's shoulder, "it's not the end of the world."

Remus huffed. "Unless you want to go out and get a job-"

"I can't get a job, remember?" Sirius quipped, exasperatedly, "Dumbledore banned me from leaving the house until we track down Peter."

"Right. Sorry," Remus mumbled, "I forgot."

"I wasn't supposed to be looking after a kid," Sirius said very quietly, "and James and Lily weren't supposed to die, and Peter wasn't supposed to be working for _Voldemort_. This wasn't supposed to be our life."

"Well, sometimes terrible things happen." Remus replied sleepily.

Sirius laughed drily. "Well put, Moony. Well put."

A few minutes later, Sirius rolled over and fell asleep. Just as Remus was about to follow Sirius's lead, he heard a cry from Harry's room.

He sat up but his head was heavy. It was an effort for him to open his eyes, but he managed. Remus wondered why they didn't put Harry's cot in their room. He made a mental note to tell this to Sirius the next day.

He made it to Harry's room and picked the little boy up, hushing him until he fell asleep again. When Harry was in his cot, Remus lay down on the floor and closed his eyes. The walk back to his room was too far, anyway. And the carpet wasn't too uncomfortable…


	2. The Park

**A/N: This chapter is longer than usual but I just couldn't seem to stop. Also it was kind of fun writing angry!Remus so he may appear again in later chapters.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews and alerts on this! I got some really helpful feedback which has helped me edit this chapter so thanks so much to everyone. I hope you continue to read and review my work, and please don't hesitate to offer me some constructive criticism because it's really helpful. **

**Chapter Two: The Park**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Warnings: None for this chapter.**

***…***…***

Sirius awoke with a start. Another nightmare. Another vision of James, so vivid, with clammy skin and dull eyes. Every night, James and Lily would come to him covered in blood and call him every bad name under the sun. Sometimes they'd yell, other times they'd whisper. Either way, the nightmares were awful.

In his most recent nightmare, James had shrieked that Sirius was a murderer. That he could have stopped Peter. That it was his fault for swapping Secret Keepers and damning him and Lily to hell. The worst part was how realistic the dreams were. He could hear James's voice, ringing in his ears, even when he woke up.

Sirius took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He could feel sweat sticking to his bare chest. He ran a hand through his messy, overgrown mop of dark hair. He needed to get out of bed. He needed fresh air, a walk in the open.

That was it! He'd take Harry for a walk in the sunshine. It would do them both some good. And since Remus was at work-

No, wait. Remus was fired. If Sirius's parents hadn't disowned him when he was younger, he would have had enough money to support both of them, without Remus needing to work in the first place. Then again, if his parents hadn't disowned him, he probably wouldn't have been able to live with Remus in the first place; and really, at the end of the day, living with Remus was worth being poor.

Sirius realised that since Remus wasn't working anymore, the three of them could go to the park together. Even though Dumbledore had asked Sirius to stay inside… He wasn't even guilty! He had an alibi. He and Remus had both been in the Leaky Cauldron when the Potters were murdered. There was no way that either of them could have done it, and yet Dumbledore kept warning them both.

Sirius shook his head of those thoughts. He couldn't afford to dwell on things like that. No, he'd get Remus and Harry and they'd go to the park together.

Leaping out of bed, he threw open the bedroom door and called out. "Remus! Remus, are you here? Where are you?"

Sirius checked the kitchen, to see whether or not Remus had left a note to say he'd gone out. Whenever they left the house, they left each other little notes. With the handful of Death Eaters out there still trying to kill Harry, they couldn't take any chances.

Sirius frowned. He'd check on Harry and then he'd check the rest of the house. It was rather strange, Sirius thought, that Remus wouldn't leave a note… But when he checked on Harry, Sirius found more than he'd expected.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius sighed.

There, curled up on the floor next to Harry's cot, was Remus Lupin. His face looked peaceful in sleep. Sirius noticed that he was still wearing his clothes from work the day before and he smiled sadly. Since Lily and James were murdered, Remus looked how Sirius felt – tired and depressed and vulnerable.

He needed to take better care of Remus.

Harry was awake but was silently playing with a small plush toy which Remus had bought him for his birthday. Sirius scooped Harry up in his arms and the boy giggled. Remus moaned and rolled over in his sleep. Keeping very quiet, Sirius carried Harry out of the room and into the living room.

"When uncle Remus wakes up, we'll go to the park," Sirius grinned at Harry, "and we can play with your broomstick. Alright, Harry?"

Harry's bright green eyes twinkled. Sirius took that as a yes.

"Sir'us," Harry gurgled, then spoke fluent gibberish.

Sirius nodded. "Yes. That's me. Sirius."

Then he paused. Wait, had Harry just said-

"Rems. Sir'us."

Sirius gasped. "Harry, say that again!"

But Harry had other things in mind. He waddled over to the armchair where Remus had comforted him the night before and started to pull at the material.

"Harry," Sirius called, "what's my name?"

Harry turned to him, little eyes twinkling knowingly, and said "Sir'us" before turning back to the armchair.

***…***…***

"So he talks now?" Remus croaked.

He looked even more dishevelled than usual, and his light brown eyes were weary. Sirius wanted to kiss the weariness away but he knew how Remus hated to be fussed over, so instead he handed Remus his plate of bacon and eggs and began to cut up Harry's toast into more manageable pieces.

"I can do that, if you want." Remus sighed, gesturing to the toast and knife.

"No. I'm doing it," Sirius shot Remus a meaningful look, "and yes, Harry talks. He said your name."

Harry beamed at Remus. Remus smiled at him and ruffled his hair. "My name, eh?"

"Well, he said mine, too," Sirius grumbled, "so don't feel too special about yourself."

Remus laughed softly. "Just when I thought that ego was gone…"

Sirius failed to hide a grin as he continued to cut up Harry's toast. This day was going to be great; he'd make sure of it.

"So I was thinking that we could head to the park in half an hour-"

"Which park?" Remus asked, sipping his tea.

Sirius shrugged. "The one down the road-"

"But didn't Dumbledore say that we're not to go out in this area-"

"Then we'll go to a park further away or something," Sirius frowned, "maybe we can use the Floo Network-"

"I don't think that's a good idea." Remus began, quietly.

Sirius sighed, his happiness sinking to a dull sense of dread. "If you want, we can stay home. I mean, I don't mind, Moony. I just thought we could take Harry out for some fresh air and sunshine. It would do us all some good. This house is just…"

Remus raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Er, no, Sirius. I meant I don't think we should use the Floo Network. I'll just drive us. No need to get all worked up…"

Sirius mock-glared at Remus but he couldn't hide his returning happiness from lighting up his face. "Honestly, Remus, you do this on purpose you bloody _git_!"

"Git." Harry repeated, munching on his toast.

"Oh dear." Sirius muttered.

Remus chuckled amusedly and began to eat his breakfast. It seemed the world was finally returning to normal for them both.

***…***…***

The park was nothing like Sirius expected. When Remus parked the car in front of the vast, oval-shaped park of green grass, Sirius expected that they would find a nice spot and sit down and play games with Harry and maybe eat some of the sandwiches that Sirius had packed. That was what you did at a park, wasn't it?

However, when they actually set foot on the grass, something completely different happened. Instead of finding a nice spot, giant purple fireworks erupted in the sky. Instead of eating sandwiches, Sirius found himself swearing like a sailor.

"What kind of place _is_ this?" He yelled.

Remus looked just as shocked as Sirius, holding Harry close to his chest. "I have no idea. This has never happened before."

Sirius felt his blood run cold. "It can't be Death Eaters, can it?"

Remus shuddered. "Maybe we should head back-"

But before they could begin to turn around, they saw a lanky blonde man holding a small blonde child run across the park towards them.

"Is that Malfoy?" Sirius hissed.

Remus shook his head. "No, look at his robes. Malfoy would never wear lemon yellow robes."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. It wasn't exactly the response he expected from Remus but nevertheless, Sirius calmed down a little bit. If it wasn't Malfoy then-

"Heliopaths! Get away!"

Sirius anxiously turned around to run but Remus frowned and stayed still. "Heliopaths don't exist," he stated, "they're made-up fire spirits."

So what was the blonde man running from?

"Didn't you hear me?" The man called as he got closer to Remus and Sirius. "Heliopaths! I saw them, out in the woods."

"Er, yeah. We heard you." Remus nodded. "We just want to have our lunch here in this park, so…"

The man stopped and widened his eyes. The little child in his arms looked up at the sky dreamily. "But Heliopaths are _deadly_. I've written several articles on them, researched them to no end."

Remus shrugged. "I don't really believe in Heliopaths."

The man shot Remus a glare of sorts. Remus smiled calmly but his eyes were narrowed. They were having some kind of staring competition, Sirius thought. Well. How strange.

Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, did you make those purple sparks?"

"Yes, I did," the man replied, not moving his eyes from Remus, "it wards away the Heliopaths."

"Right," Sirius shrugged, "fair enough. Well look, our names are-"

Remus shook his head. "Don't say anything, Sirius, he doesn't need to…" Realising he had said Sirius's name, Remus cursed under his breath and closed his eyes in frustration.

"Sirius?" The man turned to Sirius. "As in, Sirius Black?" It would appear that he had forgotten about the Heliopaths entirely.

Sirius nodded. "This is Remus Lupin."

"The werewolf?" The man raised his eyebrows, all malice disappearing from his face. "How exquisite."

Remus choked on air. "Excuse me?"

Harry chortled and Sirius quickly took him from Remus's arms before Remus accidentally dropped the poor child. Remus looked rather frightening, Sirius thought. He'd forgotten about this side of Remus, the stubborn intellectual with fire in his eyes.

It reminded Sirius of their school days, strangely enough, specifically the week before the full moon when Remus would gradually become more and more irritable. He hadn't snapped like this in a while, though, at least for a few years. Sirius wondered, silently, whether this anger was part of Remus's grieving process.

"Well, werewolves are rather misunderstood, don't you think?" Xenophilius claimed with the air of a professional.

Remus scoffed, clearly irritated. "No, actually. Most of them aren't. Most of them are pretty wretched. If you actually _met_ a werewolf, you'd know that they're violent creatures. It takes a lot of willpower for werewolves to fight their instincts-"

"But in _my_ experience-"

Sirius could see a fight about to happen, and while it would be pretty entertaining to watch, he realised that he would have to put up with an irritated Remus for the rest of the day, which he didn't quite like. So he stepped in between them and grinned.

"Alright, boys. Settle down."

"What's your name?" Remus ignored Sirius, still glaring at the blonde man.

"Xenophilius Lovegood," the man replied, "I'm the editor of The Quibbler."

"Well, _that_ explains it," Remus muttered darkly.

"Moony, come on," Sirius hissed, "leave the poor bloke alone."

Xenophilius Lovegood looked at Sirius as though seeing him for the first time. The child in his arms gurgled, her large eyes studying little Harry. Xenophilius smiled at Sirius.

"Right. You're Sirius Black, aren't you? A lot of people think that you killed the Potters."

Sirius froze and felt anger bubbling up in his chest. Maybe if he handed Harry back to Remus, he could punch Xenophilius in the face a few times-

"I don't believe that you killed them," Xenophilius added, "but it's strange how the Ministry distrusts you so much that they would spread such a rumour. Clearly, Pettigrew did it. You have a strong alibi. And yet, there's so much doubt… Would you ever consider doing an interview for The Quibbler?"

Sirius made a strange sound, halfway between a confused yelp and an irritated sigh. "An interview?" He repeated.

"Yes," Xenophilius smiled, "an interview. I'll make some stew for dinner and you can meet my wife. She'd love to meet you," Xenophilius turned to Remus, "her brother was a werewolf, you see."

Remus cocked his head to one side like a lost dog.

"Of course, you don't have to say yes. But please do think about it." Xenophilius shrugged. "Also, I understand that you're both looking after Harry Potter. You should bring him along. Luna here loves to make new friends."

Xenophilius began to walk away, without any parting words or goodbyes. Remus shot Sirius a look that read 'get me out of here' so they both walked back to Remus's car with confused frowns on their faces. Harry wasn't worried in the slightest. He was sucking his thumb and looking at Sirius with interest.

"Are you going to do that interview?" Remus asked quietly as he started the car, a few minutes later.

Sirius sighed. "I don't know."

"We're never going to the park again." Remus muttered.

Sirius nodded his head enthusiastically in agreement.


End file.
